Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
