Banned from zoo.
Again?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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