I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Is it because I queefed?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
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Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
These tits shall not be calmed
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