just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
