I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
