This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
