Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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