You're a womanizer and a bitch.
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Randomize
