Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
