he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Randomize
