we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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