Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
