I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
