She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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