ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Randomize
