Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
