I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Randomize
