she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
