But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I supernannyed him into submission
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
