i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
dude. I can hear the air.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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