Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
