i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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