i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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