My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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