Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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