Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
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And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
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So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
false alarm, still single
I have post one night stand depression
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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