we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
