it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
