Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
