these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
