Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
