READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
