Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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