Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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