Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
