Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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