How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
