I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Randomize
