I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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