dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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