I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
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