Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.