Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
