is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS