I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Where is the hickey?
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it