considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
