She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
