ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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