I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
It's never too late to be topless.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
