Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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