thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
