i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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