he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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