When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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