I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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