I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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