Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize
