watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
