Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
