My first STD was from a foam party
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
