I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
