saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
