you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
