My Higher Power is John Stamos
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
