She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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