i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize