So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
