Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I just blew my weed a kiss
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Randomize
