I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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