Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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