omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
did i just pee glitter
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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