yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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