just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
We left the knife in your bed.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
