We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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